Do you Love yourself?

Today’s client came because she was having a tough time going through a particularly challenging divorce and the stress was making her unwell.

We’re 6 sessions into a block of 9. Each one has been peeling back a layer of ineffective coping mechanisms that has enabled her to survive with the resources she had but has also kept her stuck and caused her much pain.

Today we hit the bottom of the biggest unravelling of all – the question of “Do I love me?”

Without love you’ll never do the necessary work to survive, you’d give up and let circumstances take you.
She quite readily admitted she’d grown up in a loveless environment and had spent her whole adult life seeking love outside of her Self. It had never occurred to her whether she loved her Self or not.


I’ve sent her off with the homework to go discover whether she does or not.
Sometimes we’ve taken on so many ideas and beliefs from others it’s easy to come to the conclusion we’re unlovable, especially if it happened early in life. Knowing no better we simply copy the behaviours of those around us.

We treat ourselves with the same contempt, criticism, indifference and ingratitude we are familiar with from our childhood. It’s not that are parents were bad people, it’s just they didn’t know how important it was to love things as they were, choosing instead to focus on us getting a good education, excelling at a musical instrument or sport or getting a well paid job. These are worthy things, but unsustainable sources of love without a strong foundation of Self Love.

Self Love helps you to make decisions in your best interest rather than in the interest of the people around you.

To healthy people Self Love makes you very attractive and someone people like to be around.

However, Self Love doesn’t always make you popular. Sometimes, if we are surrounded by people that rely on us for their sense of identity, then our Self Love would be very threatening to them, because you might leave them – and then they would have to experience deal with the emptiness they experience because they don’t love themselves either. These people can have devious and manipulative ways to get you to stay. They make it out you are as free as a bird to do what you like, but you are not. They use tactics as feining illness, guilt or criticism to make you feel inadequate or to show you how much your behaviour hurts and harms them.

Don’t be fooled! The most loving thing we can do is this situation is lead the way on role modelling Self Love.


Self Love seeks life enriching experiences and life enriching company. Self love tells people no and sets boundaries. Self Love listens to your instincts and champions being your own biggest advocate. Self Love listens to you own inner voice more than those of others. Self Love knows when to stop and when you are being too easy on yourself. Finally, Self Love knows you are worthy and never gives up on you.

At the end of the day the truth is, to get by in life, Self Love is all you have.

The Art of Reiki

I was wondering the other day when did Reiki become a ‘thing’?

I ask because we hosted a Holistic Day and I had the great honour to introduce three people to the practice of Reiki.

Each of them was delighted to experience the warm and nurturing energy that comes as part of a Reiki treatment and equally delighted to realise that they to have the ability to create calmness within a person simply by the laying on of hands.

I was wondering when did we, as a human race, stop instinctively giving ourselves and those in need the time of day and placing our hands on areas where there is tension, pain, an injury or tiredness? When did we forget that given the right resources even the most debilitating of circumstances can be turned around with enough love and attention? When did we forget we are a soul first, and a body and mind second?

I could link it to modern life and how busy people seem to be these days, but to be fair I haven’t been around long enough on this planet to comment.

What I do know is there many people that are suffering from illnesses of the body, mind, relationships, environment and finances that do not appreciate they already posses the skill and innate ability to bring about balance and heal themselves.

One of my roles as a Reiki teacher is to reconnect people back to this instinctive knowledge and help them find their own path.

Some come to my courses to help themselves deal with a challenge such as a long-term health problem, some to learn about themselves or to dive deeper into the practice of peace, whilst some come to learn how to support family members and friends. A Reiki level 1 course will do all these things and it is my honour to share with people the tools to help themselves and others, and take them through the initiation process. Along with learning the background information behind the practice of Reiki, the core principles Dr Mikao Usui encouraged his students and clients to live by and the basic hand positions, learning Reiki with a fully qualified teacher includes a number of ‘attunements’ that allows the energy to flow through an individual’s crown and out through their hands.

Hands that heal, hands that harm…
Whilst I was wondering about how Reiki ceased to be a part of humanities daily life in the modern Western world, I was also well aware that whilst our hands can be exceptional tools for health, comfort, support and nurture, they can also be weapons. By this I mean they can strangle, smack, pinch, punch, pull and molest and be the source of much suffering and pain.

I want to bring people back to the knowing they have this wonderful innate healing ability within them, and support them to learn, develop and apply this ability to bring peace and harmony to all of humanity. I want people to experience what it is like to have a strong connection to your Self and to trust your instincts and I want people to experience the joy and bliss of giving.


Rachel receiving her Level 1 certificate

I will be running Reiki Level 1 and Level 2 courses in Mark Cross, East Sussex over the next 2-3 months. If this sounds like something you would like to know more about then please get in touch to have a chat with me to find out if Reiki is right for you. Simply get in touch via 01892 853518 or send an email via my contact page.

A great day of teaching


Today I had a wonderful day teaching. The conversation was so rich and diverse, steeped in curiosity and exploration. Reiki isn’t just about a series of hand positions, it’s an exploration into what it is like to be human. It’s a discussion on how the body speaks the mind, an exploration into how we may have become disconnected from source (without realising it) and what it means to be aligned with who you are – the hand positions are just a means to get there.

I’ve lost count of how many different people I have worked with, each with their own journey and story. Some stay with me for a while, others it’s a fleeting experience. What I trust is that they are all with me for as long as they need, with some returning years later when they are ready again.

That’s what I love about Reiki, it works so much with intuition, helping you trust and develop your own. My own personal experience has been a huge wake up call to how much we are divinely guided if we only open ourselves up to it.

Tomorrow we’ll look at the 5 Reiki Precepts, the behavioural cornerstones that Usui put together to help people create a behavioural moral compass so that all the good healing work doesn’t come undone. These precepts include ‘be kind to all living things’ and ‘do not worry’ – two great pieces of advice for anyone.

When we are finished my Level 1 students are able to treat themselves, friends and family. I send them off with a 21 day healing journey, a nod to Usui’s time on Mount Kurama. In that period they will get to learn about the various facets of Reiki and how it can be soothing when you are low and calming when you are anxious and your energy is high. They will learn about themselves and become more aware of their own body and emotions; a great foundation for when they work with others.

In short it is a full mind, body and soul learning. I like to bring in my experience from my other therapies as much as possible as I encourage my students to bring all their life and learning experiences too. Together we explore the subject and have a wonderful time.

Why I’m a Reiki Teacher

I never intended to be a Reiki Teacher. I became involved in Reiki in at a time I was looking to solve my problem of being so influenced by the biochemical and emotional states of others.

I first realised I wanted to be a healer when I was 4. Doctors and nurses was my favourite game and I made everyone play it with me! Later I had dabbled a little in spiritual healing when I was at University in 1999, but I didn’t pursue it when I had returned home as I wasn’t either in the right space or exposed to the right people for it to remain in my life.

I had a couple of initial sessions in 2008 but fate intervened again so I didn’t start my Reiki journey properly until 2009. At that time, I was experiencing some huge relationship challenges, was unsure what my purpose was in life and wasn’t exactly my own biggest fan. I found the Reiki to be a wonderful relief and trained in the First and Second Degree in quick succession.

I took to the concept like a duck to water and quickly realised that the sensitivity that had caused me so many challenges in life was a gift when it came to doing healing work. I absolutely loved doing my First and Second Degree courses, feeling like I had snuck away to secretly train in my hearts greatest desire – healing and focusing on love.

In time, I was able to meet others that had trained at Reiki shares, which helped me feel more and more at home with idea of Reiki Healing and after a while I asked to go to Master Level thinking that would be enough for me, I’d stop there.

Becci Harvey, Master Reiki Practitioner

Becci Harvey, Master Reiki Teacher

It was my Mind Detox clients that ultimately became the driver to train to teacher level. Mind Detox is a talking therapy, and often I would sense that my clients would also benefit from the healing power of positive touch and the immersion of unconditional love that Reiki brings.

By training to be a Reiki Teacher, I realised I could also offer to teach them the basic principles of Reiki so that they could bring these aspects into their daily life and they would be a catalyst for positive change and beneficial shifts. So much to my own surprise I asked to become a teacher.

What I love about Reiki is how gentle, non-invasive, loving and supportive it is.

Most people tell me they train because they want to support others. The wonderful thing about Reiki is that if you are healing others, you cannot help but bestow the same benefits upon yourself. The more time spent focusing on loving intent, the better it is for everyone.

I have had people attract more luck and clients to their work, reduction in relationship tension and the courage to let go of medication as just some of the benefits my students have experienced from learning this gentle and loving healing technique.

As for me, it turns out that teaching Reiki exceeds my wildest desires. Perhaps that small girl of 4 that wanted to heal everyone that was in pain with love was smarter than I originally gave her credit for. One things that remains for sure, Reiki is and will always be a huge part of my healing journey and one of the many gifts that I wish to bring to the world.